So we had a very interesting conversation for dinner tonight. But before I go into the conversation, you first need to know that we have a very HUGE golden retriever named Ginger. She is so huge because for some reason my husband likes to feed her human food and not just let her live off of dog food (which is highly recommended by any Veterinarian or dog lover out there.) I enjoy having Ginger around even though she does wake me up numerous times in the night with her outrageous snoring! But my husband, he loves his Ginger! He walks up to her first thing when he comes home from work. His normal phrase is "Oh, my precious!" Yes, I am serious!
(Ginger and our little guy Finn)
Like normal, I spent at least an hour preparing and cooking dinner for my family (even with a horrible headache!.) I finally got most of them downstairs and the little ones were starving so I served them up their dinner so we could get started. After sitting down at the table, my husband comes downstairs, picks up a plate, puts a huge amount of food on a plate, then proceeds to put the food in front of Ginger on the floor. I could feel myself almost ready to leap into action but I learned a long time ago that doesn't work with him. I did voice my opinion and told him that it makes me very upset that he wastes the food I make for the family on the dog (and personally it offends me). Then of course, I had to compare it to us eating dog food because human food is as bad for dogs as dog food is to humans. He might have understood that a little more than just my nagging for once!
The next part is what cracked me up and I wanted to share!
11 year old: Yea, Ginger is so fat! What would she do in a Zombie Apocalypse? She would get eaten immediately (indicating she is too fat to run for cover).
8 year old: She would just be eaten.
11 year old: Well, I guess we could use her to get to some of them. We could go to the top of a hill and roll her down. That would take care of a lot of them. She is so big she would just squish them all and then she will be okay.
8 year old: I don't think so because then the one at the bottom of the hill would just get her anyhow because she couldn't go anywhere. They will get her anyhow.
I really do not get them sometimes but then they come up with some pretty hilarious scenarios. They go through this type of banter numerous times a day if they are around each other. It is sometimes so funny that I actually have to laugh out loud and then they think they are so funny (which they are) and try to outdo one another. All my other boys were similar in their scenarios building skills and I just think it is hilarious how a boys brain works sometimes.
I have to say that living with boys is completely different than living with girls (yes, once upon a time I did live with girls, they are called sisters). Boys have a completely different mindset. Sometimes it can be so funny that you can not believe the things they come up with. Maybe next week I will have to record one of the conversations my 13 year old and his friend has on the way home from school. They just leave me in stitches. They are so goofy!
I almost didn't let you know how this all started. My wonderful big sister decided to post a video to my timeline on Facebook of these two boys that had destroyed their house with paint. Yes, I have had paint messes before but that is not the point. Paint you can normally just wipe up or use magic erasers on. You can use Hydrogen Peroxide. There are many fixes for that look it up on Pinterest or Google. The video is hilarious though. If you want to check that one out you can here: https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10152590563160267&fref=nf
No, my home was not destroyed by an avalanche today! I just thought this was a funny name for a video that was on YouTube. You have to check it out to see what I am talking about. After you watch it then you will understand how I have felt WAY TOO MANY TIMES.
Oh, my goodness! I am cracking up, almost peeing my pants this is so funny! Seriously, I can only laugh now because I can feel this woman's pain. I know that I have said all the words that came out of her mouth except one line she said at the end: "Oh, my [gosh]! It's like a snowman puked all over my living room!" Yes, yes it is! I never would have thought of that phrase, but it is!
Okay, well here goes my story. My boys were the same age the first time this happened to me. One was actually 1 1/2 and the other was 3. I had just had another baby and I am guessing I must have been putting him to bed or something like that (please remember this was 15 years ago so my recollection could be a little fuzzy).
At this time in my life I made a lot of things from scratch. You know that thing mothers do to save money. Ha ha! I made bread and other things so I had a 25 pound bag in a large white bucket in my kitchen. I had just been using it and had not secured the top on the bucket as of yet because those things are REALLY difficult to open once closed. The lid was on top so I didn't think they would figure out that they could open it. Okay, I will fess up. I really didn't think at all because who would imagine something like this could happen. Come on. Really? No, it does not even comprehend in your brain that this could happen to you. Well, it can obviously.
At this time we lived in a house that was 1700 square feet and a lot of it was wasted space due to a very large front room that was not used much except for toys. I walked downstairs to my whole downstairs covered in white. I was not sure what had happened. Everywhere I turned things were covered in this white "snow". Yes, but it smelled like flour. If you are a baker you know what I mean. As I walked into the family room in the back I saw my two little innocent boys covered in the white "snow". They were having so much fun. I have to say that I do not remember if I yelled or just laughed this time. Like I said, it has happened too many times to count. I wish I could find a picture but I doubt I have one. Just looking at the video brings back too many memories for me.
Okay, now you have to know that I feel for this woman because she has a lot of vacuuming to do. At least she has nice wooden floors. I had carpet. It was embedded in my carpet for a long time. The only thing that will really clean it is a professional cleaner. Oh, and don't sweep flour it makes it move around the house more. Once you start sweeping, the flour goes into all the little crevasses that the boys did not hit. It also goes into your lungs like you are breathing in flour dust. Not good! DO NOT SWEEP FLOUR! Please! A vacuum is your friend in this time of need. Especially those photo frames and the walls. Yes, flour actually will accumulate on walls. It looks like you have decided to make your house look like a powdered doughnut (but not as delicious). The flour will just lay there on your beautiful textured walls. So if anyone ever does go through this. Here is my advice: Start at the highest point and work down (with a vacuum only). Do not think that you can clean with rags (wet or dry), microfiber cloths, dusting tools or anything else. It will save you many, many tears.
Now one more thing that you might not even be thinking is, "What about the boys?" Well, you may not be thinking this because it didn't hurt them. I didn't hurt them! But guess what does, water and flour. What do you get when you mix water and flour? That is correct. You get glue! The first time this happened I wasn't thinking and I threw them into the bath trying to get it all off. Think about gravity. Where would the most concentrated amount be? That is correct, the head. Like I said, I wasn't really thinking straight. I started to try to clean off the flour on the head and it didn't want to come off. It stuck like what? GLUE! Yes, glue. I scrubbed and scrubbed. My boys had so much glue on their heads even with all the scrubbing. So I figured I would let it dry out and work with it that way. Luckily, I had experience with cradles cap and had my trusty little baby comb somewhere. That helped a lot. You treat it like cradles cap. It works wonders. It does take a few times to get it out, actually quite a few times, but it will eventually come out. Also, if you have it around and you trust yourself not to get it into your kids eyes, Tea Tree shampoo does wonders. Just saying, it can be a miraculous time saver in these types of situations.
So, my other piece of advice is to take your child outside as soon as this happens. Have them bend over and brush as much flour out of their hair before giving them a bath. Make sure at this time you take off their diaper (or underwear) too and throw it
outside because it will be filled to the top with flour. Do not ask how
this happens but it does. It saves a lot of time and tears also. Once you have done this, a bath or shower should be easy peasy.
Now that you have heard one of my most traumatic experiences (not really), imagine going through this numerous times in a lifetime. Yes, I have 7 boys. Every single one of them has used some type of baking product to do this with at least once (some of them numerous times, hey why not practice until you get it perfect, right?). I have seen flour, baking soda (large bag), cornstarch and even baby formula. Cornstarch is a bit heavier so it doesn't fly as high but it is just as difficult to clean up. Baby formula, you just cry because that was a week supply that ended up all over your floor.
Does anyone else have one of these wonderful "Avalanche Stories" to share or reminisce about? Good luck to all you new mothers out there. Keep an eye on your powdered goods.
I personally do not like the term bedtime routine? Why? Because it never is the same or easy, now is it? I wish it was. Doesn't every family wish it went something like this: Mom or Dad: It is time for bed, brush your teeth, get your pajamas on, say your prayers, then go to sleep. Child: Okay! (then proceeds to obey)
WHAT A JOKE!
This is how our routine happened to be tonight:
Mom: It is time for bed. Please go and start getting ready. Brush your teeth while I finish doing what I am doing. Children: Okay. (Then I hear, as they yell at each other to get ready for bed, things being thrown around the room, yelling at each other, and stomping around) Mom: I am coming in! I hope you at least got your teeth brushed! Children: Yes, yes! (I hear fast running and fighting to see who gets to grab the toothpaste first - heaven forbid the other one gets it first!) Mom: (As I walk in, I realize that they decided that the floor was a good spot for the clothes they did not want to wear this morning - I ignore the clothes and push the dirty clothes hamper out of the way so I can walk through the room! I know lazy me!) Who is ready for bed? Children: We are! (As one jumps on the bed and the other is STILL brushing his teeth) Mom: Yes, I can tell (with a chuckle) Mom: What do you have on? Child: My clothes! I am wearing them to bed. Mom: No, you are not. You don't wear jeans to bed. They will give you owies in the night and you don't want that. They are uncomfortable and you will have marks on your belly in the morning and maybe even a belly ache. Child: But I don't want to change. (After
a stern look and much coaxing my child decides it will be nice to be in warm pajamas. The other child follows suit (I think?). Of course, he can not do this with out doing the Undie Dance for 5 minutes!)
Children: Mom! I want ice cold water! (Of course, why didn't I think of that! I should have had them in my hands when I walked upstairs!) Mom: (walks downstairs to get the water *with ice, comes back upstairs, gives the water to the boys and has to wait 2 minutes for them to drink and decide whether or not they have had enough to drink. Finally, we sit down to get into bed) Child:So here is my story I was trying to tell. Long ago, when I was little like 2 years old, I took a yellow crystal and buried it in the ground. Then a coyote sneaked up on me and tried to kill me. Mom: What! Okay, scary but tell it again because you did that so cute I have to record it (on my crappy phone that doesn't do a great job!) So he tells it again. Then they both want a picture taken. Mr. 8 year old starts making funny faces and being goofy! Really goofy!
Mom: Okay, I am done. It is time for prayers. Children: Who's turn? (we have to "take turns" because both want to go first saying prayers. M,W,F is 8 year old's turn. T, Th, Sat are 5 year old's turn and Sun is whoever gets in their bed's first turn - that is usually an interesting night! Both children say beautiful prayers as always thinking of things they are grateful for.) Mom: Good night! (As I lay down with my 5 year old because he still will not go to sleep without me next to him.) DING DONG!!! DING DONG!!! Mom: What in the world! (I start down the hall toward the stairs. Daddy comes out of our bedroom half asleep and goes downstairs. He opens the door to find out it was someone ding dong ditching AGAIN! I hate that!!! Dang kids don't they know it is late!) Children: What was that? Who was that? What is going on? Anyone here? (questions and more questions) Mom: No one is here. Just kids being goofy! (Finally, we lay in bed ready to go to sleep.) 5 year old Child keeps jumping all over the bed. Decided he wants to sleep at the end of the bed. Then decides he wants to sleep sideways. Then he wants to lay on top of me. Child: I decided I am not tired anymore. I want to go do something. (I look at the time and it is 9:30pm!) Mom: Yea, no way little man! You are going to sleep and that is that! Child: But Mom! (After a very long 30 minutes of tossing and turning and fighting I hear a soft breathing coming from behind my head.) Mom: Whew it is over! Now I can go downstairs and get some housework and other things done!
